Inspiring Beauty

Old aunts kept the definition of beautiful for me - in fact for quite many of us - as 'fair skin' until our own definition was developed. As I grew old I couldn't really accept only 'a fair skin' as beautiful. It became more intricate for me to call somebody beautiful - beauty that was defined by both the soul and the outside appearance.

So today from a piece of conversation on 'beautiful' I ponder to unveil two females that I really call beautiful and who inspire me to work on what defines beauty to me. I haven't let these two women know all this time that how they have inspired me to look beautiful  - one posting her gorgeous pictures on social media and the other during our gossips narrating her daily deeds which anyone of us would believe to be social work.


These inspirations are neither a past Miss Universe nor Mother Teressa. But one tells me that LIFE IS CARING ABOUT ONESELF and the other tells me LIFE IS CARING ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND US. And that sums up life...right - caring about oneself but on no-cost ignoring to care about life around us.

So Neha, my Miss Universe, is a wheatish complexion and who has had real complex about it. But whether in the house or when she steps out, she is one confident beautiful lady who not only men but women would also turn to look at again.

"So what?" - you could say so many women look beautiful. But as I remember her from hostel days she never missed taking care of her skin - be it chilling winter or a gloomy hot day. She could skip a meal but not the face mask to keep her skin glowing. Her apparels were simple but she cared as to what looked good on her and carried those dresses gracefully. Then a time came when after her two kids she was 95 kg. She did not fail to realize it and left no stone unturned to return back to 62 kg. Being highly qualified, she gave up her career for her family. And then when she started working again, she had to start at a very low pay giving her sleepless nights. Yet she never gave up, neither on career nor her beauty. What I really admire is with all the hustle and bustle of life that a lady lives in, Neha did too but never missed to take care of her as well along with the rest. Simultaneously taking care of both she is now at a managerial level and never missing a chance to flaunt her beauty before the camera.



Roopali, for me clone to Mother Teressa, is my elder sister.

One fine day, walking on the street, she finds a wounded puppy lying and she takes it to the veterinary hospital. Late night returning from work, she finds a child trying to board the bus she had just got down from and the driver not allowing the child to board as he was alone. She follows the child as he seemed a young 5-6 year old child and realizes he is lost, looking for his parents. She calls the police takes him to the nearest police station to report and wait there until midnight to ensure that the child is in safe hands. During her initial career days, she was in the Pharma industry. For some work, she went to a hospital one day and found that a man was lying near a hospital in his feces with mites and fleas over his body. Due to the foul smell and risk of spread of the bacteria, the hospital administration wasn't ready to admit him. Roopali took up charge and by all hook and crook got him admitted. She paid him a visit every day until he was well enough to speak and got in touch with his relatives. These are few incidences that made an imprint on my mind. Such small acts of kindness from her could fill page after page more than her age. But that's where her beauty lies - the beauty of the soul about caring. Going out of the way to get things right for the world around her, is her beauty.

Small story cut short, these women have inspired me to look beautiful the way they are. Deeds and caring it is all about and I try to include the two ways in my life to look beautiful. But who inspires you to look beautiful?

Umbrellas, Jackets and Shorts

A ritual was performed every year around mid-March and then sometime in November. The clothes from the boxes were shuffled with those in closets. It didn’t make sense to Pakhi why would they be moved in boxes at all when they could be worn other times as well. So this time when Ma started the same ritual in November, Pakhi asked her why didn’t they keep all the clothes in the closet; why was this task performed at a specific time of the year.

Ma took a deep breath. It was a long story to narrate to Pakhi. She went into her own times when November bought a new excitement to wear sweaters, Jackets and savor the warmth of blankets and quilts. When bonfire would bring the society people at one place to chat munching a handful of groundnuts. Now how could she unfold this to Pakhi that she and people of her time had enjoyed four kinds of weather in a year? It was nothing like the present times when one day felt like spring, the second like chilling winter, the third like a hot summer day and a few days later a day that felt like an autumn leaf fall. It was difficult to explain to Pakhi that how it all went in their times when granny packed up all winter clothes in boxes after putting them in sunshine for sometime in the month of March and put all the summer clothes in Ma’s and her siblings' closets. How their summers went splashing in the water and enjoying ice creams. Then came June and it would start pouring, sometimes heavily. It was time for umbrellas, raincoats, and swings too. And by September as the rains subsided, it brought autumn shedding away the leaves and reminding them to prepare for winters.

All of it was ‘old-times’ now and Pakhi just saw the ritual happening of shuffling clothes. It remained a practice for Ma. As for Pakhi, her closet did not see one season at a time; but a mix of summer, winter and rain clothes pulling out an outfit depending what the morning brought for her.

Ma never thought half of her past life what scientists and geologists had been warning of as ‘climatic changes’ and 'global warming'. But she felt guilty today as she told Pakhi, how things had changed and how her individual contribution small but meaningful could have not made the weather cycle extinct. AND how this ritual (that Pakhi sees as) would have made sense to her

Celebrating Patriotism

It's more than a week past the Independence day and to most of us patriotism is a 'non-trending' affair now. I say it because we tend to be patriotic just twice a year - on Republic Day and Independence Day. And most of it is limited to painting various parts of our body, buying a flag, posting a few patriotic messages and that's it.

One such color came to my view this independence day and triggered me to write.

I happened to be in a mall on 15th when I saw huge crowd near the entry. I figured it out to be part of increased security measures on day like this. But soon I realized it wasn't crowd for security check; it was a stall that kept the surrounding busy and crowded. People were getting the tri-color painted. And in the crowd was a couple that had just got their cheeks painted and were clicking selfies with ice cream in hand. While I walked out as my son wanted to ride a toy car, I saw the couple following out of the mall as well. And then they threw the ice cream cups on the street celebrating the independence of their hands from trash. Wow! The essence of patriotism was fulfilled with tri-color painted and the rest seemed beyond them.

Alas! Most of us sail in the same boat and reason it out - 'Everyone else does it! Why should I take up the responsibility solely.'

'Why should I take up the responsibility to drive in lanes and follow traffic rules when every other person is NOT. We can fashion to be patriotic just by wearing tri-color on the independence day.'
'Why should I take the responsibility to take a carry bag with me to the market when the street seller is offering me a polythene bag. We can just contribute by posting a picture on social media when the street drainage system gets blocked in rainy season.'
'Why should we bother to take responsibility to get in the queue and wait for our turn when everybody else is paying under the table to get their work accomplished. Well we could infact be on the receiving end to take the ransom. Patriotism can be displayed on national days by standing up for national anthem.'
'Why should we bother to take a role in a national disaster when everyone else is ranting about how government is failing to do anything and the victims are suffering. We can join them in the rant and that will do for our part of contribution.'

There are a few who do care, who own their responsibility, do a little bit as and when they can but they are still a very few on the count. What we fail to understand that one single step each by the millions - millions that make up this country - can contribute large. We fail to understand our day to day responsibility that sings the chorus of patriotism. We fail to understand that it should be part of our day to day life as taking shower is, as eating food is.

I cannot end this write-up with a punch line and tell what we ought to do because each one of us has to decide individually on our part of contribution, do that and make it a daily ritual. The responsibility of patriotism will be fulfilled then. The celebration of twice a year will be a daily celebration then.

Ensnaring Beauty

Living the peace in the snowpack and glaciers,

Soothing my eyes in a river flowing down the mountain,

Grasping the quietness in the tip toes of tigers,

Swimming my body in the swirls of fishes,

Enticing everything beautiful to the round secret world,

I rejoiced in every bit of this green and blue.

Now this aesthetic seems a past gone by.

A dream it seems, nidificated only in the creation.

As I see again, it is all devastation-

There in the pastures I lay naked,

And there in the forests I hear no roars,

There the rivers look so sad and quite,

And have searched everywhere for the golden toad.

There the glaciers look pale and fragile,

There in the backwaters I feel a galore of dirt…

For a second I wonder ‘Am I me!’

The world I gave unto you

Lays in suffocation and ready to die.

I yearned to ever live in this magical beauty.

But you never heard me cry my fears.

You ignored me in the pains I bore.

A shallow world in me is all you caused.

I asked you to stop but you never paused.

Now hear me ring the alarms for you,

Bear the anguish you volcanized in me.

The landslides, the hurricanes, the calamities, the diseases

The heat and fury is all I can give you.

A green and blue earth is ready for revolution,

To open your eyes may be…

But surely to let you know -

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me

This poem is a write-up for a cue from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre - 'I am no bird; and no net ensnares me'. My effort is to characterize the Earth's wrath for our negligence and misuse of its prized beauty.

What Inspires Me

A recent series of articles by different people on LinkedIn put me to think about what inspires me.

Well when thinking of things that inspire me there is a long list that comes to my mind. A deeper thought brings in a conclusion that every bit of my surrounding is an inspiration; it is just the state of mind, at the time, conjuring whether to absorb the inspiration in that space or not.

To share an example, this is the most unsuitable time for me to write (as I ever think) when the house chores are whirring for my attention, when the sun is at its peak for anyone to beat the heat, when my son is all awake, up on his mischiefs to distract me and when what not…yet I am here writing intoxicated with inspiration spilling in the space. Each day when I sat at this time nothing came as an inspiration and there were countless reasons for me not to be inspired to write but today seemed a magical day. And the reason is a fresh state of mind.

Like I said there is limitless availability of inspiration around me, one of them is the silence of the night. In my teenage years it was this silence which filled me with inspiration and a paper and a pencil accompanied best to unfold that inspiration into creativity. To this day that silence brings in inspiration.

Another thing that inspires me is a good read. And in today’s Wi-Fi generation there are numerous sources for a good read. They culminate in me inspiring ideas for creativity.

A beautiful weather outside the window inspires me and fills energy within.

An artistic piece pours in thoughts of creativity and inspires me.

A walk or a drive is often a source of inspiration. Infact sometimes a conversation strikes inspiration for me. It fills me with ideas and a bucket full of creativity.

Do you think I need to add more to the list that inspire me? Just this small list can lighten the expanse of the floor of inspiration. It is just a state of mind which is ready to go around and pick these tits and bits of inspiration and put them into creative piece of art, thought or whatever. So think about and let me know does it work the same way for you. And are you also surrounded by tits and bits of inspirational sources.

And to conclude I would only say next time you are working on something but the energy is low…you are not getting the result, take a break. Pick one from the list of things that inspires you and give that source of inspiration five minutes of your time. Then get back to that work, you will find yourself with the energy to finish the task…you will be all inspired.

LOOKING FOR A GOOD BOSS?

Most of the times, we find our friends and colleagues unhappy as employees in a company, over a period of time. Have you ever wondered what change in working environment contributed to this changeover from a happy employee to an unhappy one? Is it the boss that has made the place unsatisfactory for you?

Often the bosses play an important role in our satisfaction level in a company. If they have the convincing power, understand when to stand by their team members, the scenario changes to quite an extent. Great bosses are remarkable and with their leadership abilities they make the organisation a remarkable place to work for.

So what are the qualities that we are looking for in the ‘remarkable boss’?

1. Decision Making – One of my friends is full of praises when she speaks about her boss because he is a good decision maker. In calls where there have been unending discussions and arguments, his interruptions and decisions have been remarkable and applauded by everyone. And when you work with such decision makers, you tend to be satisfied with work as you know your time will not be wasted in unresolved scenarios.

2. Taking the initiative and leading – This quality quite overlaps with the one of making decision. A manager with the ability to take decision can step forth and take initiatives. A very good example of an initiative taker can be displayed in this video where the coach risked his reputation and came forward to help the singer. The situation is - young Natalie Gilbert stumbles over Star-Spangled Banner (national anthem of United States of America) before the start of professional basket ball game. The coach of one of the teams Maurice “Mo” Cheeks comes forth to help. He takes the initiative setting an example of what leadership demands. It makes it so very clear, where there are leaders like Maurice, people are happy to follow.

3. Development and Mentoring at a practical pace - When I resigned from my company, my replacement had a team of 10 to mentor. In our knowledge transition process I had a hard time convincing him that the pace of mentoring the team needs to be slower than what he was planning for. He wanted to load his decades of experience and knowledge on fresh starters. After I left the company I received e-mails from almost all my team members and each of them reflected the unhappy state.

4.  Solutions and Fixing things – When we look at our managers we are expecting them to find solutions for our problems and get things fixed. A remarkable manager has the capacity to provide solution when a team member approaches. When the problems are not addressed then the dissatisfaction grows. I am lucky to have worked with such a manager who always had a way out of the problems I approached him with. He always provided alternatives as well. An employee is happy working if he knows there will be a very small period of ambiguity before his manager provides him a solution or alternative for a problem that is in his manager’s or senior authorities control.

5. Using Correct Words – A fact but hard to accept, managers need to be good with words they use. Whether dealing with clients or team mates there are situations when you need to commend them and there are times when you need to censure. Commending a team member is quiet easy task but reprimanding needs skill. It is a situation where you need to be good with words to show the team member his mistake but still give him a scope to improve - using words that are not disheartening.

6. Rescuer in the hard times - If you know your boss can take a stand for you when time needs, you will be willing to put extra efforts for your part of job to get it accomplished. Each of us have our bad times and a good boss can only be the one to show up for you in those times – whether it is standing by you against the odds or guiding and reassuring you.

All in all, the boss can contribute a lot to your happiness in an organisation because they are the medium of communication to the organisation for you. From my own experience I can say your performance can be directly affected by the kind of boss you have. Do you think so?

A Lobby of Fear

The Nurse opened the door and as the four of us (whose name the nurse had called) entered, we saw a long lane lighted with dim lights. Walking down the lanes, I realized I had never perspired their quietness ever before – quietness that entails a fear ‘What’s wrong with me?’ and a hope ‘Everything’s gonna be alright.’ Though the illness might not be serious but when it comes to walking past the lobbies of medical test centers it always conspires a fear within us.

And as I walked down the lobby, my eyes went searching each room that I passed by, looking at each person around and keeping my ears open for every word that went in the air – all of it to really understand what was in there. I came across an old man asking for water from another nurse because in his words he was ‘scared to death’ with all those tests being performed on him. Then I realized that one of the four of us was an old woman. She slowly walked supporting herself with a stick and holding her man’s hand. Their grip was tight as it would have been all these years of togetherness. We walked a few more steps and then one by one, we were all shown changing rooms to dress into the blue patient gowns. It appeared in the next second I would be laid on a stretcher and taken to OT, a mask on my face as the stretcher would move, a light from the ceiling would go past my eyes almost blinding me, and then several human figures would appear with masks and blue gowns, the only difference between me and them – I lay on the stretcher, they stand next to me with each carrying a pair of scissor and forceps and all other medical instruments. No nothing as such happened, though I’ll take the glory in dramatizing it highly.

After I changed I waited in the dark and grim lobby sitting at the end of it and watching people go and come (I used ‘go and come’ because you felt relaxed when you left these dim, fearful lobbies) and of course wearing the Blue Gown. I watched people come in, each one with fear hidden or uncovered which I saw through Mr. India glasses. As I waited there I tapped through the quietness of these lobbies and they served a prelusion to my fear (and where this title/story came from).

Each face unfurled a different story. And as I said, each face had a fear and a hope. I saw it in the face of the limping woman who found her confidante in the nurse accompanying her and whined about the leg that troubled her all the time. A little later I found it in the man who had entered the lobby with me. Though he carried a smile, yet the eyes could not accompany the smile well to make a perfect ‘nothing to worry’ man in him. And the most obvious story was on the face of the lady who came in with kids. She had her mouth covered with both hands and then she looked at her kids, probably aged 1 and 3, with no one to accompany them while she underwent the tests. She made them sit on the bench in the lobby and spoke to them convincingly probably asking them to wait there. Though she spoke convincingly to those little fellows, she herself did not appear convinced. She seemed so very scared.

I wondered how the employees work there all the time relaxing patients with their pleasant smiles and composed conversation. At all these places even if the doctor wasn’t wordy but just the regular questions came from them in such a comforting voice that all the fear you gathered in the lobby went running back and hide in the lobby corners saying ‘Sorry, I guess I caught the wrong person.’

Also there is one thing that I need to mention essentially. There’s a lady at the reception of one of these centers. When you speak to her you find certain calmness and the fear lying within you escapes as if she had just asked it ‘Please leave right away.’ I wish to strike a conversation with her and hear her talk for eternity. Whenever I have visited the center, I have always felt like telling her about it and add to it that the job suits her so much. Someday I will gather the audacity to say it to her.

Though I am not sure about others but I have come out of the lobby with clear reports that accompanied my persevering hope that everything’s just fine. I wish never to peep into those lobbies again and never to perspire the quietness.

Holi U in Color

A gun shot of water peppering the dust

A fistful of color painting the world

Ravishing a season knocking on door

Menacing negativities shooing far off

A day of resolutions

A day of planning

Revamp a year ahead in life

Fill the gaps of loath

A stranger hugged just on the road

Who’s gonna identify  the ‘Holi U in Color’

Making much of ‘Bura na mano holi hai’

Springing a bundle of color to the world

Happy Women's Day

Recently I had been to a shopping plaza and I had an experience worth sharing. My friend and I had walked through the plaza, checked out every store for whatever we did not want and now we were hungry. So we sat down in a cafeteria and I was fulfilling my son’s tantrums while eating that I realized that an old lady, around 75 years of age, was eyeing me. Being in a foreign country I’ll admit I am very conscious about my son’s as well as my manners. It is like both of us have to be in best of manners but with a 3 year old it seems impossible (even for me leave alone my boy)!

Anyways as she looked at me I wondered what was odd in me that she was staring at. Or maybe she wasn’t liking the way my son was behaving (though I know it wasn’t that bad a situation with my son) I thought and in vain tried to ignore her. For a few moments when I did forget her, concentrating on my son, somebody tapped on my shoulder. Turning back to look I saw it was the same lady and she said to me “I was admiring the mother magic in you. Don’t take it otherwise. You are doing great and keep going.” And she went. But she made my day.

And why did I share this story with you? Because it’s Women’s day and probably we have forgotten to commend the woman just next to us.  Each of us might be busy posting a Happy Women’s Day post or reading an article on most influential women in the world but we have forgotten the lady next to us. Have we ever thought just to go out and pat a woman’s back and say to her ‘You are the most influential house maker. Keep going.” Or have we ever thought of reaching out to a not-so-popular working woman who is giving her best shot to balance between home and work and said to her “You are doing just great. You are the most influential women in my life.” No right? So may be today just do it and it will really be a ‘Happy Women’s Day’ for that gal out there.

Feel free to leave your comment and tell me your story…how did you make a woman feel special today or may be any other day…or You Lady how did somebody make you feel special.

Imagine Aspire Create

Though I haven’t finished reading this one, but ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’ made me ponder over our brains that are so much systematic and functioned. The limit over which it is engaged in a calculation or any other activity is so much defined. We can proximately answer to what ‘2+2’ is but when we need to answer a bulky calculation like ‘34*673/52’, our brain prompts us to run for a paper and pen. How those instincts work as to give an answer or run for a paper and pen, is amazing.

Further a deeper thought into this functioning is how it has brought so much creativity into the world, and keep bringing in, contributed by each individual; perhaps a story like Da Vinci Code, a melodrama like Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi, a technology like e-reader… (Note – I am not advertising for any of the above listings. It is just what came to my mind instantly). Each thing around us has so much creativity involved – a clock on the wall, a house outside your window and furniture on which you are sitting – you name it and ponder over the creativity. Somebody imagined it, aspired for it and created it. It is such a vast experience to dive and explore.

And to be more precise this work of mine is contemplation over this book ‘Thinking Fast and Slow’ and my first visit to Disney Land. The creativity has been put to its best at Disney Land (and no stone unturned to advertise it).

Long before we introduced this word we had it in our inner-selves, each one of us contributing to creativity, bringing into existence a beautiful world. Somehow creativity and beautiful world pictures a Bonsai plant to me. It is a wonderful creation into existence. How could somebody visualize a miniature tree and bring it into existence.

And a further musing into it makes harder for me to separate out innovation from creativity. I can always figure innovation as part of creativity. I feel the creativity in itself can visualize the so called innovation. Had Einstein been not creative (in addition to the curiosity), he would not have deciphered anything from a falling apple. How many times in a day do we perceive a falling thing as a subject of center of gravity?

As I mentioned Disney earlier, I wondered how those imaginations of people have been put to work there. Those rides are an innovation, merging the concept of a ride and a story of a cartoon character. And then there are street shows or parades. Those are really simple shows you might come across each day but the effects of creativity in the colors, music and characters make the children (even the adults) go crazy for it. A thin line between the fantasy world of a lil girl and reality; they imagined it and created it.

So let us all get our minds to work – imagine ’it’ today, aspire for ’it’ tomorrow and create ’it’ day after. And no doubt when God could be creative in creating a wonderful world why not us, His creations.    

Motherhood: A Song of Life

Motherhood –I had heard about this song but never experienced myself until I came to know I was expecting. The news brought tears to my eyes and I didn’t know why. And then, as if in a click, nursing, caring and intriguing 9 months passed and a lil ‘Kanha’ (as we called him then) came to my life.

The song of my life is titled Vedang and the first beautiful moment with him takes me back to the hospital room where I first saw him and I questioned myself ‘Am I a mom and is he my son?’… And today when I play the reel of that very moment when I had first seen him I cannot conjuncture when did he grow so close to me…That question never needed an argument or explanation to bring the bonding between us; which I neither do believe would be a case with any mother.  The bond, the song, the life, the love –whatever you call it - it all became magnetically attached to this baby and it seems to grow everyday, endlessly.

One string of this song cannot weave a story of cherishment; it’s a song of life – bringing smiles, tears, fears and past reflections of our childhood. Every moment of his creates a prose to sing and rhythm to tune to. Those proses just envisage my world in him.

But with every smiling moment there have also been the moments of fear. Those fears - to discover if my baby could see properly, if he couldn’t have a birth defect, if he could walk, if he could talk and so on - have come to me hauntingly…and to each of this fears when Vedang brought success, it was ‘a moment of joy and tears, and a glory over the fears’. I remember when he said his first word apart from the gurgles and it was a ‘bye’ to our neighbors…that moment became a date in my history book. When he clapped himself on his birthday, it became a date in my history book. When he parted from me to go to school, that day of guilt (that every mother suffers) became a date in my history book.

Celebrating and cherishing every moment, today two and half years have passed and those tiny legs have become racing feet, those gurgles have become unending bundle of questions and those tiny lil hands have become artistic crave for painting. But each of his action is neoteric to me and untiringly keeps singing to me the lovable song of Motherhood.

This blog is an entry for the contest Motherhood: A Song for Life. Here I am embedding the required video for the contest which surely plays well.

Busy in Coffice

I recently read an article about coffee shops turning into office for many and the concept appeared very fascinating to me. With freelancing becoming more and more common, the idea to grab your electronic gadget and move into a public place is gaining popularity. And the one public place brewing up is the office in a coffee shop – a cheap affair with caffeine on hand.

Imagine yourself sitting in a coffee shop working on your laptop, diaries or whatever, when somebody calls you to ask your whereabouts and you in return say ‘Oh I am busy in coffice…’ A new name for your workplace - ‘Coffice’. Wow!

We search for innovation in a four tier wall called cabin; I really advice considering a coffice for innovation.  A cup full of caffeine and a room full of strangers –innovation could be ‘beaning’! It’s a place not only for writers but also for techies…with the Java incense! Even sales could steam over a cup of Joe.

Imagine a company who designs the whole office on the concept of a coffee shop. Our days would be ‘Cappuccino’, ‘Mocha’ and ‘Latte’.  Now that’s a ‘black coffee’ idea…let’s get back to work until the new entrepreneurs give it some ‘coffee beans’.

Dream, aspirations will follow

Chapter 1

Looking back over the years, I realise the change that I have gone through in my thought process - The thought process to perceive goals and achieve them. I was really not thinking in those terms for some years now. And over the period I found myself blank about what I wanted to do.

This realisation struck me after I read news on internet about an old classmate of mine. I thought how she must have put her thoughts into concrete and built story to reach these heights and make news!! She was above an ordinary child but I would not recall her as an excellent performer or something like a student standing out in the crowd. Ok not moving deeper into her performance description, I was just awed with her success and that made me delve into myself…what happened to me. It was then I realised that I had stopped dreaming – dreaming about what I wanted.

I think most (infact all) of you would agree that it is our dreams that make us what we are. To be more precise - “Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” - Gloria Steinem

It is our dreams that give us an idea what we as individuals want in life; in all sizes and phases of life – be it your professional success, or the way you wish to decorate your house or the friends you choose…probably I think eventually everything comes from dreams that we see awake. Infact the greatest inventions in this world came from those dreams that one visualised. Even a small kid also dreams of being a topper which energises him to persuade it.

Giving you a gist of my past madness on dreaming, I used to conjure new dreams everyday. Some of you might find it funny as I tell how I used to dream but somehow it really worked for me making it clear what I wanted and how I was required to move forward in that direction.

Everyday in the evening I used to take a walk in my lawn alone and I was most irritated when my mother or my sister tried to give me company during that time (though they haven’t known this until now.) This walk was my dream time when I used to visualise everything I wanted to do and walking with them meant I could not do the self-talk. Apart from big dreams like getting admission in a high-ranked college or getting selecting for a job, it also included small bits of details like my friends around (characters that I had never met, my own creations), my chitter-chatter with them, events happening in that college/office and everything about being in that scenario itself. It used to give me so much energy to put more to accomplish my dreams.

But just dreaming wont help as well. As I said the energy accomplished by that dream need to be put into action too.

To continue with my story - I then went to college, got a reasonable job, got married to an excellent guy and then came into my life a terrific kid…and over this period the process of dreaming vanished. Everything else occupied me so much that I stopped dreaming, eventually not really knowing what I wanted and finally getting into a frustration mode.

******

Chapter 2

Initially I could not realise that I had stopped dreaming as all other stuff kept me occupied.

I am a housewife and a mother of one now. And over this phase I have at times felt frustrated with what I was doing. I really did not want to do what I was doing – cooking food, cleaning dishes and so on. I do not deny that aspect of my life and that I can completely exclude myself from these tasks. I even do not say that I hate doing these tasks but I needed to do something else as well that I could perceive as contentedness of achievement.

But on the other hand every time when I thought that I did not want to do what I was doing, the next obvious question was – ‘Then what do you want to do?’ And to be true I did not have answer to it…I was blank. And I felt so foolish of myself.

Slowly as I realised this frustration and blankness wasn’t leading me anywhere and that no one but I needed to help myself, I indulged into self-inspection... and I could perceive a lot of difference in my thought process…but mind you not really a difference for the good. This realisation that I have changed and changed not for good, has been quite depressive. I had to get deeper into my past and think what was keeping me happy then, how was I seeking for it.

  

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Chapter 3

I wrote my story in the previous pages to reinstate what changes I have gone through. Many of you who are reading this might have had a similar experience and would really need a similar self-realisation like I did.

Going back to my dreaming phase, it would be necessary to mention that mine is not a ‘very-happy-ending’ story to say that I achieved everything I dreamt. But that does not mean I should have stopped dreaming. Dreams are our GPS Navigators driving us through the path to achieve our ultimate goal. They give us focus. Though I did not reach the ultimate goal but I was driving my own sketched path and discovering new beauties, pastures, adventures – whatever you like to call them as...and most importantly keeping happy!

It was when I stopped dreaming that I lost my focus.  It was like I halted on a free-way as one of my landmark and after that never pictured my future destination. For me what was missing was dreaming the next destination. So really never stop dreaming. It is just that when this ‘no-idea’ approaches, you need to sit down and think; may be going back to the past – what you wanted badly then and how much of it did you achieve. I am sure when you think of those past dreams you’ll get the push. For me it worked, I wanted to do something exposing my writing skills and then an instant thought pushed me to scribble these pages.

Just when you dream you get the energy and a pathway to follow.

It is a way to begin picture yourself on a new place again and make yourself move forward. You’ll realise when you start over again, you’ll feel the energy and new destinations will pour in. You need to just chalk out your landmarks.

If you don’t know what you want to do, it’s harder to do it. - Malcolm Forbes...Therefore you need to dream of what you want to accomplish.

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Chapter 4

So in the last chapter probably you got the key. The key is to dream.

In a fast forward motion probably you might have even quickly dreamt what you would want to do. But as you might be tracking out your way, I am sure, most of you would be foreseeing the obstacles as well. Then I should tell you that the obstacles, or excuses as my husband would preferably like to call, would always be present on any path you choose.

There were obstacles even when we went to school. We never thought of the ‘flunking’ before stepping in the school. We were then in a phase where we could not even perceive those obstacles and we just began our ride on a high note. (And no doubt we were backed up by our parents then.) Now when we have grown up we put our initial energies into perceiving obstacles and sitting down as a failure much before starting our journey. It is how we find a work around to move past these obstacles that matters and is worth an applause.

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they lead. - Louisa May Alcott

I know so many people around me who before delving onto the road, they wish to travel, foresee the rocks and mountains ahead. And they never end up travelling that road because there are obstacles. But probably if they could recognize the adventure in climbing up those mountains and feel the beauty of their success ride, there could never be a reverse gear.

Just a thought - whether you would choose to be a fire fighter fighting the fire or you choose to cry over the calamity?

Everyone who achieves success in a great venture, solves each problem as they came to it. They helped themselves. And they were helped through powers known and unknown to them at the time they set out on their voyage. They keep going regardless of the obstacles they met. - W. Clement Stone

A bumpy ride is fun sometimes right? So let’s start the travel…

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Chapter 5

There were times when I practised a few things to follow my dreams...those that had come to me as a natural instinct then and those that my parents taught. Even they had vanished. And now when I read some of those best-seller self-help books I recall them so well. You pick any of these books and you’ll find they are all full of such tips that are so ordinary tasks (and probably once were your daily practice). But when you grow into an adult, people say you get mature but sometimes with this maturity, synchronisation of these old practices’ get dysfunctional. And no doubt when you are losing the sync, such books help to revitalise your thoughts.

For example, I had lost my reading habit all these years and my obstacle (excuse) was time. I did not find time to read. Then one day I went to a book shop and bought a self help book. It was on Time Management. Of so many things that it mentioned, one was to initiate a task now that has been pending for sometime with you. And to start with the task, it said find every day a couple of minutes to do it initially. And it worked. I started the same practice with that book. And yes it was so simple…

  

Then in the recent past, for everything I could not do I had created an obstacle ‘I don’t find time’, as I said earlier. That is because I was considering the whole amount of task to be completed rather than a small chunk to be initiated. I wasn’t thinking of couple of minutes but was calculating hours.

I literally mean a couple of minutes, may be, five minutes or even lesser to start with. To get hold of a good habit is tough, therefore starting with a small amount of it, as a task, is a substantial effort. Slowly it drips down into your nerves and it did it in me too. I started with the ‘five-minute’ thing and today I find almost an hour daily to read a book!!

This was just an example. You might like to pick up some practise that has worked for you in the past. Such practises will help you initiate your steps towards your dreams and guide you further to approach the landmarks and finally reach the destinations.

So here’s the conclusion. Find a road that would lead to your destination and pick a practice to get started (to persuade your dreams). Then when a walk on that road becomes your practice find the first landmark that you need to reach. Gear yourself for the ride…DRIVE MAN!!

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Chapter 6

Before I move a step further where we analyse molding those dreams into constructive thoughts, I would like to add - As a house maker you'll need a greater push to dream and give yourself a direction that defines contentment to you. It took me almost a year to realise, think and find myself with a vision of what I wanted to do.

Interrogating myself from older perspective I realised the negative changes reflected in me after I left my job.

To this change process in myself I would include a characteristic penetrating into me was the gossiping habit (Ya…sadly it did), which I had hated over the years so much. But over the past couple of years, no probably months, I realised that I have started inhaling it though not breathing. I might not be really gossiping around but yes I was getting myself into thinking of interpreting what one said; specially bringing up the destructive interpretations and then pronouncing it to my friends and folk as well. Oh my god…how could I do this!!!

No, I wasn’t sitting idle after I took break from my job. It was something else. Once I had an argument with my husband over this. He even thought that I was sitting idle and was putting my negative energy to kill time. But as a house-maker you have so many tasks on routine that there’s no question of being idle.

In fact I have an explanation to where these negative and destructive interpretations for gossips came up from. A house-maker is always physically occupied with activities but mentally there is not much to put in with repetitive routine tasks. So there goes your skill as to what you pick to engage your mind into – constructive or destructive thoughts while you are engaged in those daily routines. Like when you are vacuuming your house how do you master your mind – Do you think of:

How could I decorate this part of the room I am cleaning?

OR

What did that lady mean when she said to me on the phone…

Sadly, slowly and unconsciously I chose the latter one, a destructive path, which conclusively led me to this entire interpreting and gossiping thing.

Therefore when you opt to be a house-maker you should be conscious of your thoughts (at least I feel it so). If you choose the right direction in the beginning…you might actually not need this story at all!! But if you have already taken the destructive path, you will need a greater push.

I recovered from destructive thinking though. This story is the best example of that. Oh you don’t understand that? What I am actually saying is that the idea of writing this piece came from involving myself into CONSTRUCTIVE DREAMING while cutting vegetables!! And most of the work here is part of that dreaming practice while on my routine home assignments. And I can no more complain that I do not find time.

“Thoughts Become Things... Choose The Good Ones!”  -Mike Dooley

*****

Escaping Reptiles’ Feast

‘No, I can’t row anymore’ I said, my heart pounding and eyes almost in tears, taking my hands off the oars as the canoe motioned towards the reptile. I could just anticipate its huge mouth opening and its jaws putting everything out of my sight as it would crawl towards me - almost a year back when we took this tour but the fear of those few moments is unscathed.

On a Friday night a friend proposed and the next morning we went for an adventure trip but with no clue of the whole concept of canoeing. All of us being first timers were enthralled by the idea of going down the river into a deep forest.

But when we reached the rental shop, we were surprised to find that we had to do it all by ourselves – no guide around to help us. A little skeptical…but the idea of boat, river and woods kept us moving. We bought the tickets and hopped on to the bus driving us to the point where our adventure would start. On our bus ride a guide walked us through a route map to be taken and talked about creatures that we might come across. All seemed whimsical except the alligators, giving our doubts a little more space.

Finally we reached the park where our rowing adventure had to start. We got down from the bus to see what our next transportation item would be and it was a canoe. You would be aware, by now, that we went there blank…I at least had the poorest idea of a canoeing tour. Any ways, we received our sets of life vests and ores and marched closer to river for cursory paddling tips.

Okay, fine a canoe but I was still sure, if they had allowed a 1 year old (‘Ouch you had a 1 year old for a canoe ride’) to take the ride, they will provide some-kind-a-seat for him. I listened to basic instructions of paddling the guide gave while tucking in life vest to my son. And then the canoes were handed over to us (or maybe we were handed over to the canoe).

We were seated-in pairs and I paired with my husband. I sat, as a ‘front-warrior’, cross-legged so that I could keep my son in my lap and took over the oars. Initially it seemed that all five canoes mastered the route rather than letting us do the job. One canoe hit the other while another pushed into the bushes.  Closely watching, you could have easily made out that we made our ores beat the bushes rather than the water. The more effort we made the more we became doubtful of reaching the destination in time (Oh yes the trip we opted was a self-guided tour in set time).

Slowly as we started administering our boats, we found the first resident, an alligator, sleeping across the bank. Though the guide had mentioned that there has been no incident of an alligator attack for 20 years now, but I could bet that meeting this alligator each one of us doubted if the 20 year record would be maintained further!  We swiftly made our canoes turn to the other side of the river flow as the route marked on the map. We moved deeper into the wilderness and spotted turtles and birds like snakebirds, great blue heron, and vultures too. The beauty was captivating. We made our way through downed trees, clearing the obstructions with a surprising beauty at each bend. Floating logs and big mouth bass accompanied us at a few times. My son was enjoying his afternoon nap giving me the pleasure to view and mesmerize in the flora and fauna. I thought abandoning our doubts was a great decision.

We reached the finish point. Yes bringing the canoe to the bank and parking it was in itself tricky. As we got off our canoes we felt our legs numb and as we moved towards the benches laid there, we were taken over by mosquitoes. It was almost evening time and their strength kept increasing. While we covered our children in towels, some of the friends tried calling the bus driver as they were nowhere to be seen. But phone network seemed to be failing. Finally one of the friend got through and we got to know that we had to row a little more to reach the destination.

To escape the mosquitoes, first the families with children were helped to take off. My husband and I lead the team this time. My son was now awake and enjoying the clear sky and chirping birds. Moving around half a mile further we reached into a little populated area where an interstate road ran across the river and a park could be seen on the left side of the bank where few children were playing. From this park a few people watched us. One of them alerted us about the alligators on the other side. As I looked across three alligators were enjoying sun bathing. Here the river was wider, I think almost 50 feet wide in comparison to the part we had just explored where it would have hardly been 25 feet wide. So my husband and I kept rowing but somehow as we rowed, we moved towards the other side of the bank rather than moving the length of the river. Also the silence of waters was now interrupted by my son. He had started feeling hungry and started crying. I tried to hold him from getting up while still rowing. Though now most of the rowing was done by my husband but a few strokes were needed at my end as well because of the flow. I think my strokes moved us closer to the reptiles so that I realized that we were hardly 10 steps away from them. Watching them this closely put me into panic and I left the oars saying I couldn’t do it anymore. My husband still struggled making the direction with the bushes around.

It seemed the world was coming to an end for me and I could make a passable feast for one of them. I really wished for existence of a Spiderman to come to our rescue. I was panicking just not ready to listen to what my husband yelled from behind. He gave up on me and kept trying making way out of there. I realized in all this time that none of those alligators had made a move. Probably he had already had his weekend feast by then and was still sleeping over his hangover! Then as my poor husband struggled the canoe moved a little backwards bringing some sense to me. By then I had at least made an effort to calm down my son and fed him his milk bottle. I finally took the ores and once again started to row making direction with the bushes, my eyes glued to the alligator. Ahh finally we made through and rowed backwards. Gradually we came to the other side while our friends were still not close enough to watch what was happening. They had seen us but not the alligators and then when they saw those reptiles they asked us ‘What were you doing there?’ ‘Nothing, we were asking the alligators if they wished to have us for their feast’, I felt like blurting. In a few minutes we reached our destination where the tour staff was waiting to help us get off the canoe.

Though I know the spider man would never come to my rescue, but I wish to go again to those captivating woods and absorb into the beauty (of course of the nature and not the alligators) one more time.